Silencing Eternity; A Guild Wars Short Story
- Rising_Dusk
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Re: Silencing Eternity; A Guild Wars Short Story
These forums have an awesome save draft feature. It's a good habit to get into to click that often when you're going to be typing something looong.
"I'll come to Florida one day and make you look like a damn princess." ~Hep
Re: Silencing Eternity; A Guild Wars Short Story
What does that make Anick?The one thing I really disliked about the GW story in general is how the Gods aren't really Gods. I mean, the dragons themselves are more powerful than the Gods, and eventually the Gods simply abandon the world. It makes no sense to me, how can you be a God if there are beings more God than you? Would that not make you a half-God? A deity? A mortal? The scum on the bottom of my shoe? I mean really.
You could say you redefined god or that it is really just a semantic issue, but then your complaint with GW dissolves on the same premise. Expecting the gods of GW to be omnipotent based on gods from other stories makes about as much sense as expecting the banshee from starcraft 2 to be able to cast curse and possession because of its name.
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- Grandmaster of Grammar
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Re: Silencing Eternity; A Guild Wars Short Story
I'd say gods as "Highest Beings" works best. They're up there, along with a few other things. Look at the Belgariad, the gods created the world, thus, they're worshipped, but the Prophecy is still higher. The god thing has never been a problem for me...but that's because I've gotten used to it from reading so much fantasy, I suppose.
Read my prose please .
An tÃrghrá Éireannach
- Rising_Dusk
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Re: Silencing Eternity; A Guild Wars Short Story
There are no Gods in the DoE story. There are no omniscient beings that are within and without all things. The greater voidwalkers are self-proclaimed Gods, false Gods, they are not true Gods. The Guild Wars story emphasizes that there are true omniscient beings that are Gods. Grenth, Balthazar, Lyssa, Dwayna, and Melandru. They are within and without every aspect of the universe, and then are so easily discarded as the story progresses. That's bullshit, and is nothing like the DoE story.What does that make Anick?
Sheesh.
"I'll come to Florida one day and make you look like a damn princess." ~Hep
- Kaome Sky Deathand
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Re: Silencing Eternity; A Guild Wars Short Story
These things are fine and all...but I was really looking for critique on my writing...
I need to brush up on 1st person and fighting scenes, those being my weakest areas.
I need to brush up on 1st person and fighting scenes, those being my weakest areas.
Cruor Vult
Hope, it is the quintessential human delusion,
simultaneously the source of our greatest strength, and our greatest weakness.
Soon we shall be One...joined in the Word.
Hope, it is the quintessential human delusion,
simultaneously the source of our greatest strength, and our greatest weakness.
Soon we shall be One...joined in the Word.
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Re: Silencing Eternity; A Guild Wars Short Story
Odd, I loved how you did the first person. It had a sort of rhythm, and it was poetic, in a way. It definitely wouldn't have worked as well in third person. My only qualm, really, is spelling. With that sort of beat to it, these little things just throw it off.
Read my prose please .
An tÃrghrá Éireannach
- Kaome Sky Deathand
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Re: Silencing Eternity; A Guild Wars Short Story
Sections I did at home (Auto Checker) compared to at work (Hiding, saving, posting, re-logging, etc.) are noticeable indeed.
I do my best, but I can't catch everything.
I do my best, but I can't catch everything.
Cruor Vult
Hope, it is the quintessential human delusion,
simultaneously the source of our greatest strength, and our greatest weakness.
Soon we shall be One...joined in the Word.
Hope, it is the quintessential human delusion,
simultaneously the source of our greatest strength, and our greatest weakness.
Soon we shall be One...joined in the Word.
Re: Silencing Eternity; A Guild Wars Short Story
I know that there are no real gods in the DoE story, that was entirely the point of my comparison.
I don't intend on doing anything more than noting the plausibility of a counterpoint, much less diverting this thread. Sorry for the derailing.
I actually really enjoyed the fight scenes, with the exception of this...
Once again, I am aware of this. However, (omniscience ==!omnipotence). Theres no reason a being could not create a world that would be too much for it to handle, even if it had an arbitrarily large amount of knowledge about it. As a matter of fact, it's Murphy's law of software.The Guild Wars story emphasizes that there are true omniscient beings that are Gods. Grenth, Balthazar, Lyssa, Dwayna, and Melandru.
I don't intend on doing anything more than noting the plausibility of a counterpoint, much less diverting this thread. Sorry for the derailing.
I actually really enjoyed the fight scenes, with the exception of this...
You're right, I cannot imagine such speed you unleashed, which is not a good thing.Dema nodded in agreement, before lunging in with a vicious slash.
You cannot imagine such speed as we unleashed. In the span of a few seconds we exchanged thirty-three blows. His demonic speed was almost rapturous, he danced around me like a Canthan celebrant, I countered with arcing sweeps and driving lunges, making him break off and dart in when he could. The tension was amazing, I didn't think about it at all, it was natural, it just happened. We traded another set of forty blows before we deadlocked. We broke and circled.
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- Rising_Dusk
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Re: Silencing Eternity; A Guild Wars Short Story
It's not that they can't, it's that they simply choose not to and vanish as if they never existed at all. Even the entire world seems to forget that they ever existed. Then some "long lost dragons" arise from out of nowhere and start wrecking havoc and no one seems to care. I cannot follow the logic behind such plot choices, they're entirely random and haphazard at best.Theres no reason a being could not create a world that would be too much for it to handle, even if it had an arbitrarily large amount of knowledge about it. As a matter of fact, it's Murphy's law of software.
To me, it really didn't give the feel of an atmosphere behind the story. It didn't seem like Kaome was telling me the story across a campfire or something, but rather as if he were reminiscing on past events within his own head. I think it would've been a much more cogent and effective story if you'd achieved the feel of the storyteller, you know?
"I'll come to Florida one day and make you look like a damn princess." ~Hep
- Kaome Sky Deathand
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Re: Silencing Eternity; A Guild Wars Short Story
33 blows in a few seconds is easy.
Consider...
I did not specify how many seconds.
Kaome is wielding two swords meaning some attacks could have been using both.
Any attack incoming from Dema would be counted.
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I really wasn't going for an oral feel.
More like he was scribing it or you were reading what he wrote.
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Don't be shy now...
Consider...
I did not specify how many seconds.
Kaome is wielding two swords meaning some attacks could have been using both.
Any attack incoming from Dema would be counted.
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I really wasn't going for an oral feel.
More like he was scribing it or you were reading what he wrote.
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Don't be shy now...
Cruor Vult
Hope, it is the quintessential human delusion,
simultaneously the source of our greatest strength, and our greatest weakness.
Soon we shall be One...joined in the Word.
Hope, it is the quintessential human delusion,
simultaneously the source of our greatest strength, and our greatest weakness.
Soon we shall be One...joined in the Word.
Re: Silencing Eternity; A Guild Wars Short Story
I didn't mean that I thought it was unrealistic, I just didn't have much to go by to imagine the battle. I mean, "we were really fast" doesn't make for immersing action. Would it hurt to tell us more? Or better yet, give us more information about how the characters feel and what they see so that you don't have to resort to what is basically a transcript.
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