Post
by TheDeathstalker » Sat Sep 06, 2008 8:09 am
I think I missed the boat with this thread, but I've got a mildly related experience, and figure it can't hurt to share.
First of all, as a person who is left with nothing but Skype to keep a relationship alive, it can work. Let me qualify that though, as I had been dating Christie for a year and a half by the time she left for France (7 months across the ocean, about halfway through now). But as a whole, relationships are fine via webcam. Yeah you can't hold eachother or whatever, but I've no worries about the state of the relationship as it is now. Ok, this situation is different, as you havn't met physically, but at 17 and 18, you're looking at college soon, so that's something that could easily work out if planned for. For now, I'd recommend building the friendship and going as is, then see about getting closer.
Story time: I come from a relatively small town, so much so that I don't think we ever drove down the street without waving to someone. Because of this, I ended up in the same class with the same people year after year (the nearby military base offset this somewhat, but it's unimportant). Now, there was one girl who I've been friends with since first grade and who has, up until college hit, always lived down the street from me. Now, I'm not sure when I started to like her, but I finally realized that I did in middle school, and effectively shot myself in the foot. Repeatedly. We'd still see eachother in classes and stuff, but I kinda epic failed and played the game of trying to not let her know I liked her while still being around, so it just kinda flopped.
Fast forward to Junior year of high school on a 21 day class trip to Europe (well, kinda, it was with the class, just not sponsored by it... it's unimportant, whatever). But on this trip, we finally reconnected (and she made mention of how we were good friends and how i just dropped off the radar in middle school for some reason) and things were good, we were finally friends again. So, throughout Senior year, we'd hang out a fair bit, but she was always the type of girl who would change from month to month who she was wanting to date and all that, so I stayed firmly on the friend side of things. Well, during the 2nd half of senior year is when things got interesting. You see, one of my friends started liking her too, and through some forum were arguing over things as idiots like us do. Well, big suprise, and she finds the forum (well, actually it was a myspace group, yeah, eww, that she was invited to, which was actually the debate we were having, as to if we could really let someone liked by two people of the group into such a tight group of friends (it actually made alot more and alot less sense than that, but that's the gist)) and reads the threads we had, at which point she makes one post and leaves for good. The post (while longer than this) essentialy said "You're both nice, but... no... bye". I then sent her a message saying sorry, admitting i liked her, etc.. Well, come the next school day (oh, fun part of this, we were on the swim team, and since we lived so close, we'd drive together for about 40 minutes to the pool every day) everything's fine. I mean, a little aukward, but overall, everything was great. It was kinda wierd, it was as if at that moment i realized that being friends with her was perfect.
I've since gotten a girlfriend who I never met before getting to college, and kept being good friends with the girl from high school (actually, she's part of the reason i went to UF, not because a "hurr, i get to be near her" thing, but more of a "oh, you know, UF does look pretty good, and I'll have friends there"), even rooming with her over the summer.
So, overall, you never know. If you like her, you like her, there's not a damn thing you can do about it other than remove your internet or jump off a building. The difference between things going well or not from here on out is a mix between dumb luck, attitude, and balls. You've got to be willing to take what comes, no matter what it is, and make the best of it, because you never know how many dolphins are out there til you find them. Another thing that's important is to remember that if this doesn't work out, the next girl you'll love may very well not be anything like Jessica, and for some reason unbeknown to us, that's good. Not to mention the fact that I've got a growing repertoire of stories of people who let the "girl of their dreams" get away and are miserable because they've decided they've missed the best girl they'll ever meet (to be fair, this kid had a shitton of other issues that just compounded the problem, but it happens).
Best of luck with however this turns out dood.
And though you come out of each gruelling bout,
All broken and beaten and scarred,
Just have one more try—it’s dead easy to die,
It’s the keeping-on-living that’s hard.