Math Jokes/Phrasings/Stories/Pickup lines

This is where all those jokes you're dying to stump us with should go. Got something funny you want to share with the rest of us? This is the place to put it.
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Greenspawn
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Math Jokes/Phrasings/Stories/Pickup lines

Postby Greenspawn » Wed Sep 17, 2008 5:46 pm

Math jokes. Short and simple description. Let the joking begin!


"It's all fun and games until someone loses an i" (Our calc class's T-shirt phrasing)

"Baby, let's add me, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and begin multiplying!"

"Theorem. A cat has nine tails.
Proof. No cat has eight tails. Since one cat has one more tail than no cat, it must have nine tails."

"Life is complex: it has both real and imaginary components."

"Will integrate for food"

"Q: What does George Bush complain about regarding math in schools?
A: That all the math departments offer an introduction to AlGore-ithms, and not GeorgeBush-ithms."

"Q: Do you know what the latest statistics joke is?
A: Probably..."

"In a dark, narrow alley, a function and a differential operator meet:
"Get out of my way - or I'll differentiate you till you're zero!"
"Try it - I'm e^x..."
"Too bad... I'm d/dy"
Math is # |e^iπ|
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Logue: Please replace the toilet paper when you use it all. For some reason my 5 year old son believes if it's not there he does not have to wipe.

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Greenspawn
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Re: Math Jokes/Phrasings/Stories/Pickup lines

Postby Greenspawn » Wed Sep 17, 2008 5:49 pm

Heard one from a friend in BC today:

"I wish I was your problem set, because then I'd be really hard, and you'd be doing me on the desk."

-A. Jermyn
Math is # |e^iπ|
"I can't imagine getting hit by a giant rock and not being maimed or crippled or ruined" -Dusk

Logue: Please replace the toilet paper when you use it all. For some reason my 5 year old son believes if it's not there he does not have to wipe.

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Re: Math Jokes/Phrasings/Stories/Pickup lines

Postby andriejj » Wed Sep 17, 2008 6:41 pm

Two diverging sequences met... (it sounds so much better in Polish ^^)

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Re: Math Jokes/Phrasings/Stories/Pickup lines

Postby erwtenpeller » Wed Sep 17, 2008 6:55 pm

nerds.

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Re: Math Jokes/Phrasings/Stories/Pickup lines

Postby Crevax » Wed Sep 17, 2008 8:48 pm

"I wish I was your derivative because then I would be tangent to your curves. "
SELECT * FROM users WHERE clue > 0
0 rows returned

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Logue
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Re: Math Jokes/Phrasings/Stories/Pickup lines

Postby Logue » Fri Sep 19, 2008 10:04 pm

Greenspawn wrote:"I wish I was your problem set, because then I'd be really hard, and you'd be doing me on the desk."


Epic.
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Cold Phoenix
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Re: Math Jokes/Phrasings/Stories/Pickup lines

Postby Cold Phoenix » Fri Sep 19, 2008 10:34 pm

Logue has new vocabulary to score with.
Your move.

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Re: Math Jokes/Phrasings/Stories/Pickup lines

Postby Logue » Sat Sep 20, 2008 1:45 pm

Cold Phoenix wrote:Logue has new vocabulary to attempt to score with.


Fixed.
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The Colonel
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Re: Math Jokes/Phrasings/Stories/Pickup lines

Postby The Colonel » Mon Sep 22, 2008 4:36 pm

-Last year's math class T-shirt
"(Front)i^2 (Back)Keepin' it real"
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Re: Math Jokes/Phrasings/Stories/Pickup lines

Postby Vinnam » Sat Sep 27, 2008 12:59 am

Top Ten Things That Math and Sex Have in Common

10. Explicit discussions of either topic is a faux pas at most cocktail parties.

9. Historically, men have been in control, but there are now efforts to get women more involved.

8. There are many joint results.

7. Both are prominent on college campuses, and are usually practiced indoors.

6. Most people wish they knew more about both subjects.

5. Both involve long and hard problems, and can produce interesting topology and geometry.

4. Both merit undivided attention, but mathematicians are prone to think about one while doing the other.

3. Saint Augustine was hostile to both, and Alan Turing took an unusual approach to both.

2. Both typically begin with a lot of hard work and end with a great but brief reward.

1. Professionals are generally viewed with suspicion, and most do not earn high pay.
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Re: Math Jokes/Phrasings/Stories/Pickup lines

Postby Hell_Tempest » Sat Sep 27, 2008 9:35 am

Vinnam wrote:Top Ten Things That Math and Sex Have in Common

5. Both involve long and hard problems, and can produce interesting topology and geometry.


Best one, lulz.
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Re: Math Jokes/Phrasings/Stories/Pickup lines

Postby Psiclone » Fri Oct 24, 2008 8:18 pm

Vinnam wrote:3. Saint Augustine was hostile to both, and Alan Turing took an unusual approach to both.

I dunno, I rather like this one.
Intellectuals are like the Mafia; they only kill their own.
-Woody Allen -

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Re: Math Jokes/Phrasings/Stories/Pickup lines

Postby pandamanar » Thu Dec 04, 2008 9:21 pm

Joke : What do you call a parrot that doesn't eat?
Answer :

A Polynomial
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Re: Math Jokes/Phrasings/Stories/Pickup lines

Postby The Colonel » Thu Dec 04, 2008 9:36 pm

Back in algebra we had "Starving Parrot" tests.
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Re: Math Jokes/Phrasings/Stories/Pickup lines

Postby Kaome Sky Deathand » Sat Dec 06, 2008 2:14 am

Cruor Vult

Hope, it is the quintessential human delusion,
simultaneously the source of our greatest strength, and our greatest weakness.

Soon we shall be One...joined in the Word.


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