To The Guy Doing My Wife

This is where all those jokes you're dying to stump us with should go. Got something funny you want to share with the rest of us? This is the place to put it.
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Logue
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To The Guy Doing My Wife

Postby Logue » Thu Mar 20, 2008 9:42 pm

To the guy doing my wife. You know who you are. Yes I know. No I am not angry, I would just ask a few things of you. After all you are giving it to my wife.

1.Please stop leaving the seat up, I keep getting blamed and it is starting to get old.

2.You may be giving me a chance to go fishing more often but please stop drinking all my beer. It is fine if you have a couple while you visit(god knows
I drink plenty before I find her attractive), but please leave me a few as I have to be there longer than you.

3.If you do drink the last one buy more or leave money on the counter I will pick some up.

4.Please replace the toilet paper when you use it all. For some reason my 5 year old son belives if its not there he does not have to wipe. We keep it under the sink, unless you can recomend a better spot?

5.After doing my wife please use something disposable to wipe off with. The basket of clothes on the right is mine and the clothes are clean as my wife does not do my washing, Irun out of time rushing to work. Last week my sweatshirt was crusty(thanks).

6.Please do not tell my children that you are their uncle, they are young not
mentaly challenged.

7.Please stop turning the heat up, You pay nothing and MUD is putting it in my ass, my wife may like it but I think it hurts.

8.When she asks "do these pants make me look fat", say no. You may think giving a different answer will make her think twice about eating a gallon of ice cream a day but all you are doing is giving her a reason to go buy more pants that she will look just as fat in.

9.Stop eating the baked goods. The brownies you ate were from my mom for my birthday. My wife has not cooked anything that good for years and if she does she will not share.

10.Try shifting your weight when you sit on my chair. The recliner that I rarely have time for (soccer games and practice, basketball camp for the kids takes much of my time and I try to help with school work too)has a grove in it that forces me to roll to the left.

Lastly I would like thank you for taking her to lunch on Valentines Day. She was not as hungry as usual and only orded one meal.I may be able to use the money I saved to take the children to a movie. I hope you can help me with these items, it may become ackward if I have to confront her. If you can do this for me I will give you a heads up on when I will be gone and for how long so that you don't feel rushed.

P.S. I am going to take the kids to the Great Wolf Lodge on the 3rd of April for four days, I have abottle of vodka above the fridge if you find yourself low on beer.

Thanks

PS. This was not writen by anyone named Jack S.
Last edited by Logue on Sat Sep 13, 2008 8:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Kings_Mercy
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Re: To The Guy Doing My Wife

Postby Kings_Mercy » Thu Mar 20, 2008 9:45 pm

Lol that was completely bada**
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Steve
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Re: To The Guy Doing My Wife

Postby Steve » Thu Mar 20, 2008 10:12 pm

LMAO.
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The enemy are in disarray, ride them down as they run
Send them to their violent graves, don't spare anyone
Dead and wounded lie all around, see the pain in their eyes
Over the field an eerie sound, as we hear the raven's cry

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Thanatos
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Re: To The Guy Doing My Wife

Postby Thanatos » Thu Mar 20, 2008 10:26 pm

Lmfao Logue, I can't believe you listened to me. xD
yuuki o misetsuketemo tsuyogattemo hitoei de wa iki.

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Hell_Tempest
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Re: To The Guy Doing My Wife

Postby Hell_Tempest » Thu Mar 20, 2008 10:40 pm

Major Lolz
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Logue
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Re: To The Guy Doing My Wife

Postby Logue » Fri Mar 21, 2008 2:38 am

Thanatos wrote:Lmfao Logue, I can't believe you listened to me. xD


It was epic, I had to :P :P
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Loki
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Re: To The Guy Doing My Wife

Postby Loki » Fri Mar 21, 2008 1:56 pm

Holy shit, F*CK YEAH. xD
Let's do what comes naturally

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I'll be waiting in Haven.

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Greenspawn
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Re: To The Guy Doing My Wife

Postby Greenspawn » Wed Jul 02, 2008 11:24 am

Lol.

"Please replace the toilet paper when you use it all. For some reason my 5 year old son belives if its not there he does not have to wipe."

That is going in my signature.
Math is # |e^iπ|
"I can't imagine getting hit by a giant rock and not being maimed or crippled or ruined" -Dusk

Logue: Please replace the toilet paper when you use it all. For some reason my 5 year old son believes if it's not there he does not have to wipe.

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erwtenpeller
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Re: To The Guy Doing My Wife

Postby erwtenpeller » Tue Sep 09, 2008 1:00 pm

Awesome.

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Hell_Tempest
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Re: To The Guy Doing My Wife

Postby Hell_Tempest » Tue Sep 09, 2008 9:54 pm

Holy Thread-O-Mancy Batman!!
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erwtenpeller
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Re: To The Guy Doing My Wife

Postby erwtenpeller » Wed Sep 10, 2008 10:40 am

I dont give a flying twink, awesomeness is immune to threadomancy.

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Hell_Tempest
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Re: To The Guy Doing My Wife

Postby Hell_Tempest » Wed Sep 10, 2008 3:05 pm

/agree
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Logue
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Re: To The Guy Doing My Wife

Postby Logue » Sat Sep 13, 2008 8:14 pm

Logue wrote:o the guy doing my wife.

Lol nice, apparently I missed a "T" while originally posting this. Haha.

FIXED.
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