Ixilis, Arbiter of Lightning Ifritos, Arbiter of Flames

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Ragnarokio
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Ixilis, Arbiter of Lightning Ifritos, Arbiter of Flames

Post by Ragnarokio » Mon Sep 28, 2009 4:33 pm

Ixilis
Arbiter of Lightning
Intellect Based
Order

STORY: Ixilis was abandoned as a child, he had no one but his brother. One day he found an old man who told the two brothers that he would teach them magic so they could survive. The brothers agreed, and trained for many years. Eventually Ixilis's teacher died and he and his brother went there seperate ways. Ixilis is now old and frail himself, but can use many powerful spells.

Abilities:

Starting Skill
Lightning Bolt
  • Type: Single target damage/debuff
    Ixilis casts a simple lightning spell, dealing X damage to target enemy. That enemy will suffer from lightning damage and will move and attack Y% slower for Z seconds.

    Level 1 Skill
    Lightning Burst
    • Type: Activated
      Ixilis releases a quick burst of lightning, firing X lightning bolts at enemies around him dealing X damage and afflicting them with lightning damage. (has same effect as lightning bolt)
    Level 1 Skill
    Fierce Lightning
    • Type: Passive
      Ixilid is powerful when it comes to using lightning, his spells inflicting lightning damage cause the target to be slowed an extra X%
    Level 1 Skill
    Lightning Cannon
    • Type: Charged Preperation
      Ixilid charges lightning in his palms for a while. The first use of this skill begins charging lightning, and the next stops charging lightning. His next lightning bolt will hit X extra targets and deal Y extra damage based on how long Lightning Cannon was charged.
    Level 6 Elite
    Eternal Spark
    • Type: Passive
      Ixilid's lightning tends to not die out. When enemies afflicted with lightning damage die they will explode sending off X lightning bolts to nearby units and afflicting them with lightning damage.
    Level 11 Ultimate
    Lightning Storm
    • Type: Activated
      Ixilid charges his entire body with lightning. Every X seconds for the next Y seconds Ixilid will send off Z lightning bolts to nearby enemies.
    Ifritos
    Arbiter of Flame
    Intelligence Based
    Bane

    STORY: Ifritos was abandoned as a child, he had no one but his brother. One day he found an old man who told the two brothers that he would teach them magic so they could survive. The brothers agreed, and trained for many years. Eventually Ifritos's teacher died and he and his brother went there seperate ways. Ifritos has aged and is now old and frail, but has several powerful fire spells.

    Abilities:

    Starting Skill
    Burning Strikes
    • Type: Passive
      Each of Ifritos's attacks are filled with magical flames. Enemies struck by Ifritos will begin to burn taking X damage each second for Y seconds. This effect stacks.
    Level 1 Skill
    Fire Bomb
    • Type: Target Point
      Ifritos forms a molten bomb and rolls it towards the target location. It will roll for X seconds before reaching its location and exploding dealing Y damage to each enemy within Z range. They will begin to burn.
    Level 1 Skill
    Ring of Flames
    • Type: targeted AoE
      Ifritos creates a ring of flames around target point. Any enemy moving through these flames will take X damage as well as begin to burn.
    Level 1 Skill
    Raging Fire
    • Type: Channeled
      Ifritos wraps his body in flames and dispels it in all directions. Over X seconds Ifritos will expel Y waves, each dealing Z damage and causing enemies to burn.
    Level 6 Elite
    Eternal Flame
    • Type: Passive
      Burning enemies will burn for X seconds longer. In edition Ifritos's attacks will burn all enemies within Y range instead of just the target.
    Level 11 Ultimate
    The World on Fire
    • Type: Activated
      Ifritos pours almost all of his power into all the shreds of fire in the area. Every burning enemy on the map will begin to spout rings of flame, dealing X damage to enemies they hit and causing them to burn. This effect lasts Y seconds.

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Loki
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Re: Ixilis, Arbiter of Lightning Ifritos, Arbiter of Flames

Post by Loki » Mon Sep 28, 2009 5:25 pm

Are these two heroes supposed to be a pair? (like ZZ)
Let's do what comes naturally
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Ragnarokio
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Re: Ixilis, Arbiter of Lightning Ifritos, Arbiter of Flames

Post by Ragnarokio » Mon Sep 28, 2009 5:29 pm

Loki wrote:Are these two heroes supposed to be a pair? (like ZZ)
they're two seperate heroes, only connected in story. I figured i'd put them together and save some space.

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Rising_Dusk
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Re: Ixilis, Arbiter of Lightning Ifritos, Arbiter of Flames

Post by Rising_Dusk » Mon Sep 28, 2009 5:34 pm

Honestly, we're not all that worried about space. Having them separate makes them individually easier to read and digest. Also, neither of your heroes' innates make any sense. They're just kind of extra skills, they don't really do or replace or change the hero's feel whatsoever. That's not very well-designed.

Also, I mean, the heroes seem rather churned out mechanically. They don't exactly feel awesome, unique, or anything like that. They're just kind of elemental dudes shooting elemental stuff at people. Where's the emotion? Where's the character? Surely you realize that AotZ heroes require far more depth than you're building into your heroes.
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Ragnarokio
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Re: Ixilis, Arbiter of Lightning Ifritos, Arbiter of Flames

Post by Ragnarokio » Mon Sep 28, 2009 9:08 pm

sorry, i guess i'm not very good at making the characters sounds "awesome". In future character designs i'll try to really capture the image of the character.

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Re: Ixilis, Arbiter of Lightning Ifritos, Arbiter of Flames

Post by Intoxicated Crayon » Mon Sep 28, 2009 10:12 pm

They don't need to sound awesome, they have to be somewhat awesome.

Right now, you're jumbling up boring skills in a boring fashion. Like Dusk said, the innates are just there, if removed the hero would be completely fine.

I was a bit confused at first since... You have two heroes in one topic and they're brothers... ~ _ ~/ Since you had these two heroes, I think you were better off incorporating a really cool skill set that the heroes had. But no, they don't mix together, one is a fire mage and the other is lightning.

It is your first hero and I can say that I did no where near 'awesome' with my first hero so yah... Good luck with future suggestions, if you really like this hero, you can mix it up to make them more coherent.

[edit; The story is also a bit... meh. Abandoned as children and found by a mage. Taught to use magic and they go separate ways? Oo. Why would they even think of that? They've trained together so much and they had probably developed some nice team strategies and they split up? What reason would Ifritos go to fight for the Bane? Does he plan on dooming his entire race?]
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Re: Ixilis, Arbiter of Lightning Ifritos, Arbiter of Flames

Post by Rising_Dusk » Tue Sep 29, 2009 12:12 am

Ragnarokio wrote:sorry, i guess i'm not very good at making the characters sounds "awesome". In future character designs i'll try to really capture the image of the character.
All in due time. It's a learned thing, and by no means do I expect people to get it right away. It's just that it's really important. :p
"I'll come to Florida one day and make you look like a damn princess." ~Hep

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